We have always been taught to take responsibility for our deeds. And this is definitely correct. But there is also a responsibility for our words. And high class! – responsibility for our thoughts, which are going to be truth as well (that is no longer and for nobody a secret). Just like actions, words and thoughts are drag on consequences behind them. The responsibility is this: Before you give somebody a portion of considerations, go with the mind (the mind is not always a spike in the wheels) the path of possible consequences that your words may influence the listener. Without training it takes time, of course. The other person may already leave you before you do your first preliminary analysis. But this is only at the beginning. Over time the speed of pre-thinking will increase, and yes, it will in geometrical progression. Mistakes, of course, happen. Forgive yourself for them. We are not machines. Over time you will learn to look very quickly for the correct wording of your own mental images, and then you will help and even heal with your words. You will become a gardener, even their footracks start to flower.
But! The higher your level is, the greater your responsibility becomes, and even stricter your exit censor should be.
The most effective instrument of speech is the image.
Having told a person in good faith, half in jest, that he looks like a watermelon, ready to crack, and that it’s time for him to lose weight (for his own good), you can even provoke a disease. Images, stucking in the body, begin to act.
Instead of it (or correcting your previous mistake), you can express your admiration, how you imagine this person in the James Bond tuxedo, and even that he reminds you a little of him, only he just needs to lose weight.
Telling your husband that he looks like a lion, you develop his leadership qualities, and calling him a kitten you reduce his power. Here I’m not pushing to lie. Something really feline must be present in your husband, if you are going to say “lion” to him. Here the selected image, packaging would be important.
The words spoken with flattery are often puzzling. Communicating with such a person you are noticing that after he said to you: “how wonderful you look today!”, he, turning to the colleague on the right, says the same, you are going to be disappointed. Such a person is not present when pronouncing his own words. He does it automatically. Plaggued from his verbal profligacy, he loses the trust of others. What he said loses his strength, and his words lose weight. This person is no longer asked for advice, at worst he is no longer be noticed.
A person who manipulates with words loses his power through the energy expended in maintaining the manipulating fable.
A person who transmits and propagates gossip, even supposedly which to be “the truth”, becomes entangled in their networks. The same thing happens to him or he becomes a participant in the action.
A person who is obsessed with his own importance, gives more output than necessary, cannot stop in fear of looking insignificant. For others it is difficult and energy-consuming, they want to escape from them. Therefore, around this person becomes empty.
A person spreading gloom and complaints causes aggression. The energy that this person unconsciously conveys is aggressive nature. The complainant pulls forces from the listener, which is directly related to violence.
A person who thinks, that if he/she were loved a lot, so that it should be possible to guess his wishes, gets disappointed and misses a lot of wonderful gifts, that he would get by opening his mouth. Cheaping for conversion he suffers from loneliness.
Everything that has been said here didn’t intent to label, but in order to learn to calibrate your own returns – words, and also to be able to forgive people, who do not OWN their words.
And here it becomes important not what someone said, but why. It may happen, that somebody, who insults you, but has the true intention to say, that he is so afraid of confronting you and it is easier for him to push you away, than to bear this burden. And you will see the truth under this packaging.
And although, to give your two cents is absolutely legitimate and great – this is like to share with others what you have. Share generously with kindness and joy, cause it’s so nice to see happy people around!
Author: T. Weingart
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